Best Way To Approach A Business To Let Me Put Up A Sign? Help Me Reword:

verbatim profile photo

Hey all,
i want to send a letter to businesses letting the know that they can make the $500 per lead i get off homes bought from a sign put in their store.

In an ideal situation, the manager will read the letter, call me put up the sign in the hopes of getting the referral fee for himslef or splitting it with the company.

what would be the best way to word a letter to them?

My current script is below, but it does not make the managers think they need me. I want them to feel they must call me NOW!!!! Lets come together and form a script that does that!

Current idea:

WOULD YOU LIKE TO PARTICIPATE

We look for homes to buy daily. Many store managers get paid up to $500 per deal for passing this info along using a flyer & receipts.

We want homes in your area!
Your customers may own homes that they need to sell!

Can You:· put one flyer up in the store?· Have our info on your receipts?
Accept checks from us monthly?

Get paid up to $500 off EVERY home we buy from a lead generated at your store.

We put up flyer there
Some one calls to sell home
We buy their home
WE ask how they found us
If they tell us your company
We call you, & send you a check



[ Edited by verbatim on Date 01/11/2004 ][ Edited by verbatim on Date 01/11/2004 ]

Comments(10)

  • MrMike11th January, 2004

    How about walking into the business and in a freindly way engage the manager in a conversation about what you do. Then work up to asking him for what you want.

    If I was the manager I would want you to provide proof and some way for me to keep track if you got any deals from the leads you got. I would probably just figure that there is NO way you are going to actually identify who it was that got you the lead and that you would come back and pay me.

  • verbatim11th January, 2004

    To walk in and build rapport is a good idea Mike, i reall appreciate it.

    What i would like to do though, is approach a large numer of businesses at once. Can you help me with that please?

    Keep in mind, i would ask those who call me where they got my #, & paid the party who supplied the lead. There testimonial would go on a site so other owners would feel at home also.


    Verbatim

  • SolutionsKid11th January, 2004

    You make it sound like every other piece of junk mail we all receive.

    Not slamming you at all, but think about all the crap you get in your email and snailmailbox...all the stuff you throw away because it looks like a sales pitch.

    Don't do that. Write the letter so that it would be something you would open. And don't tell me "Well, I would open this letter because it talked about money" cause you wouldn't, you would read it, laugh then throw it away because it doesn't seem real or true.

    Which brings me to another point, there are tons of amazing deals out there but most of the time our society is bombarded with so much deception, lies, and scams that when the real deal comes along, we don't believe it because we automatically feel it is another scam. So you have to think about how to seperate yourself from this mentality and write a good piece of copy.

    NOT easy to do...so take some time to think. The more you revise the less you will have to spend on more advertising.

    Hope that helps,

    Christian "The Solutions Kid" Beebe
    [addsig]

  • verbatim11th January, 2004

    thanks, im not taking it as a slam at all.

    i was not really asking if it is a good or bad wording. I know it is bad & was hoping we on the board could brainstorm on a better letter.

    Is it possible for you to throw a couple of sample sentences out there that might make it a better short letter?

    thanks in advance to those that help turn this from the normal junk mail to something just a little bit different

  • GA_John11th January, 2004

    Hey,

    Why not take a moment and think, "What would be a credible offer?" if I did read it.

    That is the first thing I thought of. Are you relying on a prospective customer to tell you where they saw your sign? What would give me confidence in that you will be able to do AND track how you source your leads?

    While everyone wants to start out running, I might recommend that this might be your second or third marketing alternative. Get ONE person to have enough faith in you and then demonstrate to that business owner (and more importantly, yourself) that this marketing technique works.

    Too many times, we see folks start out the gates like a (pardon the expression) house on fire. Then, when that particular method doesn't get the results they either want or anticipate, they get frustrated.

    I am not saying don't try this. But I would go with something more proven as your primary marketing source.

    Best of luck.

    John

  • noel211th January, 2004

    What about asking businesses to put out some of your business cards on their counter? You could either pay them a fee to do this or they could stamp their "id", (name or address), on the back of the card for the referral. If a client calls saying they have one of your cards, you could offer them a five dollars for the "id" on the back of the card. Then you'd know from which places the referrals were coming.

    I'd certainly pay a caller a few bucks to know the source of their call.

    Regarding the wording on any advertisement: KISS, (keep it simple, stupid) - fewer words, make those words important ones, direct to the point. And always check your spelling, punctuation and grammar. After that, have someone else check your grammar, spelling and punctuation. Nothing forfeits credibility like crappy spelling. Ick.

    Good luck,
    Noel
    [addsig]

  • verbatim12th January, 2004

    Good idea noel, i may just do that.
    [ Edited by verbatim on Date 01/12/2004 ]

  • verbatim12th January, 2004

    Here is a small revision, more geared towards the benifits of the reader, but far from perfect. Please add or alter to make better:

    If you showed your boss how to make more money would they be happy with you?

    We look for homes to buy daily. Many employees/managers get paid up to $500 per deal for letting their customers know this.

    Can You:· put one flyer up in the store?· Have our info on your receipts? ·
    Accept checks from us monthly?
    Get paid up to $500 for every home we buy from a call from your store. You can make thousands a month

    We put up a flyer there
    Some one calls to sell a home
    If we buy their home
    We ask how they found us
    If they tell us your company
    We call you, & send you a check

  • thuntermi12th January, 2004

    Call me a cynic, but whenever I see a phrase like "get paid UP TO 500 dollars" my immediate reaction is: "weasal clause". i.e. They probably pay $50 most of the time, but if somebody refers a mansion they *might* pay $500.

    Also, you say, "Many employees/managers get paid..." Are you prepared to back up that statement with names if the person asks? Tell me who some of these "many" people are.

    If, as it seems to me, this is a new program you are instituting, just be honest and tell them that up front. Something like:

    I'm instituting a new marketing program for my business and would like to partner with you. What are the benefits to you? I pay $500 dollars to you for every house I buy that was referred through your store.

    Something like that, anyway. I'm not a store manager, but I much prefer a simple statement of the facts, rather than "WOW!! Look at all of these wonderful things I'm willing to do for you!" If someone says they want to do all sorts of great things for me, my first reaction is, "Why? What are they getting out of it? What's the catch?" i.e. I'm suspicious. If, however, they lay out the mutual benefits then I'm much more inclined to trust them.

    Just my opinion.
    [addsig]

  • verbatim12th January, 2004

    now thats waht i'm talking about!!!

    thuntermi - thanks for the input, really.

    a work in progress it is. And yes, this is a new program i will be implimenting.

    still working on it


    verb

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