FEAR
Sorry I didn't know really where to post this, just want to see if anyone else has this or has had it and how to get rid of it. I am realizing lately since I recently started in real estate that I have a little self-confidence problem. The first two deals I have done have strictly been done by email/fax. I avoid talking on the phone at all costs. I know I am never going to make it anywhere unless I get rid of this "fear" and build some self-confidence. I guess when I use email I have time to thoroughly think everything through but on the phone I am always worried I am going to sound inexperience or not know what to say. I have this same exact problem when meeting people in person. Is it just a matter of starting to do it more and more until I get over it? I know this is what I want to do. Any advice or am I the only one that struggles with this.
The only way to beat fear is to face it head on. Running from it only makes it appear bigger than it really needs to be.
A couple things I've noticed in your post:
1.) you've done 2 deals so far (not knowing details) you probably already know more than most people about REI.
2.) Self-Confidence, I know your problem since I fight it also. Do whatever its going to take to get you to speak up. The trick here is to ASK questions, and not be the person who is being asked. By doing so you will not be the one having to prove you know anything. What you will find though, is by asking these questions you will find yourself KNOWING what is going on and will be able to hold your own.
3.) Go talk to anyone....FSBO's, REI club meetings, See if there is any investors near you from this site and arrange a dinner or something.
practice, practice, practice...it gets easier
*from a former IT Geek who liked the computer closets.
It is not lack of self-confidence, it is lack of practice. How do people get better at anything - practice. You are not going to get practice by avoiding it. Just like people who want to take up tennis, join a club, but never get out on the court because they do not want to look like a beginner. Well - they are a beginner and everybody who ever played tennis was a beginner. Their tennis is not improving just because they are at the club. Do not worry about looking like Rodderick, just try to improvet. But you must get out their, make some mistake, get embarressed, and get over it to improve.
I find that the biggest stumbling block for people trying to get better at anything, is the fear of looking silly. You are not alone, it is an epedemic. Yet the people who are not scared of looking silly in the short term, are the people with great gains in the long term.
Brenda
jamieverkist,
nice to meet you. I was looking at this post. I have a problem with nervousness, (I hate the word fear) but when I entered college almost three years ago, I took up fine arts which in one of our courses for our degree we had to take a public communication class. Who doesn't like getting up in front of 30 people for just 5 minutes and have to do a speech. And they told us we had to do it.
Well after one semester I switch to a business admin degree and all business courses (about 10) all require at least one oral presentation. Was I crazy?? I don't know, but in order for me to graduate I have to do it and I have learned to just do it and not worry about everyone else. They feel the same way when they have to do something they don't really want to but sometimes to get what we want we have to get over our fear and just do it.
I am still in college and have to do two oral presentations this semester and don't like to get up their but for me to move on, I just have to do it. When I start my business beginning next year I will have to talk to people I don't know but I am trying to achieve a goal and the only way I am going to do that is to just do it. I agree with everyone else, it does take practice and I am still practicing how to talk to people but again, where do you want to be 6 months, 1 year, 5 years from now?? Just practice, remember other people feel just like you do, and don't worry what other people think, again just do it.
Hope this helps.
F e a r
false evidence appearing real
I think just look for the right deal and go for it, don't let fear get involved!
Gotta love this site
You are all very helpful. Thanks so much for all the advice. I know I have to just go for it. I do notice that once I start talking to people it does get easier..I just need to KEEP doing it...and keep in a routine so that it eventually doesn't bother me. Thank you all again.
As NIKE says JUST DO IT!!!
i'm over fifty. i get up in the middle of the nite in my home. the most secure place for me on the planet. but still in total darkness i walk into a room and have a sense of fear. i have experienced death first hand. but still this dark room will bring me fear. the only way for me to extinguish this fear is to go into the room. then, as i normally do, i laugh at my fear and go on.......km